Ah, the joys of having a column deadline on Christmas Day! So an easy way to fill a column is to find an old article, add a bit of context, and boom, you are done! But no. As I was writing this I did a bit of deeper digging and found that I had a part two. So the first bit will be in the Citizen, and the second appears here.
For a genealogist, finding a well written obituary is akin to buying a winning lottery ticket. A decent obituary might provide you with the names of the spouse, children, parents, siblings, political affiliations, and more. A couple years back I had to trace the descendants of Ira Peck and it was largely the information provided in obituaries that helped me identify the living members of the family and where they lived. Aside from the gravestone, the obituary is the lasting memorial to the departed and the life they lived. Of course, a poorly written obit can be a disappointment, often with not even a mention of the spouse or children. It can be difficult to say if a thin obit was merely a cost saving measure or a matter of family dynamics. At least it is better then no obit which is the ultimate disappointment.
For us here in the Port Byron area, the obit author was likely the editor and owner of the Port Byron Chronicle. At first, it was Lasuvious H. King and after his death, his son Richard T. took over. It had to be tough for these men who likely knew and lived with the departed, as they were asked to reach into their bag of adjectives and pull out a scramble of words and phrases to memorialize their life. These can lead to some colorful phrases, likely written to please the family. Thus you will often see mentioned how esteemed, honest, respected, or beloved a person was. If the person was old, they might be from one of the “pioneer” or “old families,” or who bore witness to historic events and innovations. The Erie Canal, the building of the railroads and trolley, the first phone, the first automobile or plane, are frequently mentioned as noteworthy events in this time period.
Crafting an suitable obit for a woman obit was different than for a man. For a man, he might be a “manly man” who was a leader in the community, while a woman was a pious lady of deep faith who brought joy to everyone she met. A man’s obit will often mention his business and political affiliations, stating if he was an ardent Democrat or active Republican, and his war service. The woman was noted for her good works and children.
In 1910, L. H. pulled out all the stops to note the passing of the young Edith (Woodin) Burghdurf, who died February 18, 1910, at the age of 26 years. It is an amazing bit of flowery writing. “Mrs. Burghdurf was born in this village and has always lived here. She was married to Floyd Burghdurf October 15, 1902, the fruits of the union being two children, one of which, a boy of four years, survives his mother. Mrs. Burghdurf was a member of one of the old families of this town and was esteemed and respected by all who knew her for the many characteristics which rendered her life and the lives of those who knew her, bright and happy. She ran the journey of life in 26 years. It was a path marked by deed of kindness and cheer. Flower, not thorns, sunshine not shadow, she scattered everywhere. With these she was lavish. Truth was the inspiration of her life and by kindness she exemplified its great worth, and there was reason for this. When in the bloom of childhood she sought the Pearl of Great Price and made it chief among the jewels of her youthful hopes. The intervening years have been full of consistent planning and wise acting. This was the fountain of the purity of her character. Through the gloom caused by he death there comes a beam of sunshine which turns our tears to jewels of promise. For the sabbaths of earth, she now enjoys, the never ending sabbath of eternity. …The flowers were many and beautiful, but not more beautiful than the face that rested so peacefully among them. Flowers seem to be the best emblem we have to express our love, and we wreathe them about the cradle, the marriage altar and the tomb.”
Now we don’t know if Edith was all this, or if Editor King was trying to soften the blow of the death of a 26-year-old mother, or if she was a close friend and King was expressing his grief. If you are looking for a family obit, be sure to check out our digital collection on the Lock 52 website.
Part Two
Small town weekly papers, such as the Port Byron Chronicle, typically had a very small staff, perhaps the owner/editor who was also the lead writer, and maybe a reporter. This small staff had to have enough material that would fill 4 or 8 pages, and when it was a slow news week, it might be tough to find enough local news to fill all that space. Once the use of photographs became common, they could simply stick in a photo to fill space, but prior to that, the editor might use a filler piece. These short articles were written by people trying to break into the writing profession and this gave them a bit of practice to see what style might work for them. They would be mailed out to the larger city papers and once printed, they would be used by the smaller locals. Here is one I ran across recently that made the rounds in the late 1800s. It was titled as “The Old Lady’s Obituary.”
“I want you to write me an obituary on the old lady,” said the rural subscriber to the editor.
“Sorry to hear of your loss.”
“Well, I’m not kickin ag’in Providence!”
“Oh, of course! Well, how old was she?”
“She never did tell.”
“Of a retiring disposition, was she?”
“No sir; she was mighty in evidence at all times!”
“Well, my friend, what on earth am I to say?”
“Oh, jest say that she wuz took away by Providence, an Providence knows its business!”
This article appears to be first published in the Atlanta Constitution, and it has that “down home, back woods” flavor that would have appealed to many editors and readers.
About thirty years later, another article, perhaps taking inspiration from the earlier piece, made the rounds. It ran under various titles such as; A Country Editor’s Problem, Obituary Of An Old Lady, Writing The Obituary Of An Old Lady Is A Task From Which The Editor Shrinks, and so on. This piece ran in the Port Byron Chronicle in November 1933.
“We dislike writing the obituary of an old lady. It seems so futile to set down in writing the things she did. She was born, she grew up, joined a church, was married, became a mother and passed to her reward. The dates of her birth, marriage and death are mentioned for they are the high points of her existence. The story of her life is pitifully short.
“The life story of her husband would record the facts of his existence and also of his business life. Perhaps, too, it would tell of political triumphs and of what he had done for the town, the county, the state and the nation. The stranger who might read it would understand that the town had lost a valuable citizen.
“We cannot tell, in writing the obituary of a woman, of all the triumphs and disasters of her life. They would sound too petty. When as a bride she and her husband set up a home she assumed responsibilities that she had never known before. She learned to spend long hours doing toilsome work that was never finished. Day after day the same things had to be done and she became an expert at doing them. But these things she did do not deserve mention in the final story of her life. They were not outstanding.
“She risked her life each time a child was born and, perhaps, once or twice ventured so far into the valley of the shadow that she almost slipped away, and it was only by fighting with every iota of her strength that she was able to pull through, not always because she wanted to live but because she was needed. There was a family for her to care for. But we can’t give credit for that. Mothers have been doing that since the dawn of time.
“She brought her children into the world, and she washed them and dressed them and loved them and kissed away their tears. She bandaged their injured fingers and toes. She nursed them through sickness and she smoothed their paths through life, and all the while she was encouraging her husband and helping him to become successful.
“She made his home cheerful and restful. She listened to the stories of his troubles and encouraged him to try again when disaster overtook him. And when success would come and his head would begin to rise among the clouds she would gently pull him back to earth and continue the process of making a man of him.
“But she get no credit for any of these things. It is what she was put on earth to do.
“At last she come to the end of the toilsome journey and she is laid to rest. Her funeral is attended by many who did know know her but who came out of respect to her husband or her children who are their friends. The minister reads from a slip of paper the uninteresting facts of her birth, marriage and death, and names the members of her family who survive her but he does not tell all the things she did, partly because they are taken for granted. You can’t put all that into an obituary. People might laugh at you for writing it.”
The one attribution I could find was from Verlin L. Sweeley, editor of the Lenox, Iowa Time-Table, although many cite a Carmi, Illinois, paper as the source. This article appeared for years in many papers around the country, some with the by-line “Unknown”, or the paper they got it from, or such as with the Port Byron Chronicle, none at all. This could lead you to mistakenly think that the local editor was the author.
It pays to check. A google search of the phrase; “obituary of an old lady,” brought back many instances of both of the above. I now know that Richard King was not moved by the death of a close friend to pen this piece, although he may have had the sentiments that it expressed. Certainly writing the obituary of many a friend over the years had to be taxing to him. But it is another lesson learned to not take everything in the paper at face value.